Taking a breath

We are living in a scary world, an uncertain time, an unbelievable crisis. We are doing our best to model behavior for our children. We are attempting to stay sane while waking each day to unanswered questions and a rising threat. I've spoken with friends about how they are handling working, teaching, parenting, marriage, and … Continue reading Taking a breath

My fear

In this current environment, with an under-researched threat of disease, an ill-prepared government, and an unknown global impact, I can't help thinking about death itself. Truly, during the year of 2015 with a series of very tragic family losses, including my son's, I viewed death in a very new way. I started to embrace the … Continue reading My fear

The roles we play

I have become my child’s best friend. I have become my husband’s true partner. And they have become mine. As a family, we are cooperating and really trying to just enjoy each other. Arguments have been paused and personality conflicts overlooked. My angel in Heaven has become the subject of my dreams and my resource … Continue reading The roles we play

Sameness in loss

I am blessed to have really good friends. Many of us have known each other since childhood, and we all had our children around the same time. There are a lot of similarities among us--how we parent, how we see the world, qualities we appreciate in our spouses. But there is one thing that separates … Continue reading Sameness in loss

Approaching the big 4-0

I feel like I have been 'over the hill' since about age 25. My journey through the decades has been arduous, exciting, and exhausting. As I come closer and closer to my next decade of life, I realize how much I change with every decade that passes. In my first decade as a person, I … Continue reading Approaching the big 4-0

Memories

I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories

The parenting conundrum

Often on my drive home from work I have conversations with myself. Sometimes, I literally talk to myself out loud. Myself and I discuss they day's events, ponder the meaning of life, and compliment one another on the superb job we are doing at surviving. Other times, I speak, answering questions as if I am … Continue reading The parenting conundrum

Change in routine

One of the many things I have learned since adopting a child from foster care is that change of any kind can often be a trigger and cause emotional turmoil. Our sweet angel on Earth finished his last year of preschool and quickly adjusted to the summer life of part time daycare and part time … Continue reading Change in routine

Loneliness and motherhood

I had a very memorable and beautiful Mother's Day. And while there is always a sense of something missing, I felt truly celebrated and loved by both my husband and sweet angel on Earth. My boys left this week for a visit with the grandparents. I felt guilty about how excited I was to have … Continue reading Loneliness and motherhood

I get it

In the midst of my painful week of grieving, I found someone with a similar story, but very different outcome. I read an article today about Michael Bublé and his 'comeback' to the music industry after his three-year-old son's battle with a liver cancer, hepatoblastoma. This is the same cancer my angel had. And he was also three … Continue reading I get it