Labeling emotions

My little angel on Earth and I have been attending counseling to help with some behavior challenges. I am still not sure if they are his challenges, or mine, but I felt like we could use some help. So I took a recommendation from his preschool principal, and we have found someone that is helping … Continue reading Labeling emotions

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Trauma and grief

Because I am a neurotic, over-protective, and sometimes insane mother, I have been working with multiple professionals to try to address the needs of my angel on Earth. Like his brother, my angel in Heaven, he has some challenges. But, the challenges of the two are vastly different. My angel in Heaven was 'sick' his … Continue reading Trauma and grief

A connection

There is a new department at my office, full of young faces with big dreams. All of the new hires are several years younger than me - most just out of school and working their first professional role. I was in today, on a Saturday, which is not typical. The two gentlemen who work with … Continue reading A connection

Security

As I'm writing this, I can see my angel on Earth, his sleepy eyes fading as his head lies at the foot of his bed. He peers through the tiny opening of his bedroom door. I put him to bed with his two books after a night with a babysitter because I had a PTA … Continue reading Security

Appreciation

We just got back from our annual beach vacation. A vacation my husband's family has been taking for nearly four decades. A vacation that holds nostalgia of carefree childhood memories and stories I've now heard every summer for the twelve years I've been invited. A vacation we missed one year when our sweet angel spent … Continue reading Appreciation

My rainbow baby

This term, defined in loss-parenting circles, as the child you conceive and deliver after pregnancy loss, still birth, or child loss. The 'rainbow babies' are our glimmer of hope, the reward for our trauma, the reason to keep trying and keep hoping. I was never going to have a rainbow baby. Soon after our son … Continue reading My rainbow baby

Gotcha day

Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of our angel on Earth becoming our child, legally. Physically, he looks as if he could be our child biologically. Emotionally, he is bonded to us and we are bonded to him as if he has been our child since birth.¬†Spiritually, I feel like he was our child … Continue reading Gotcha day

Angel in the crowd

I resorted back to my youth and went to the Taylor Swift concert this weekend. Typically, I'm more of a 'jam band' fan, and the concerts I attend are folksy, with a lot of rhythm and not a lot of flare. But I'm a closet Swifty, and I have to say, she did not disappoint. … Continue reading Angel in the crowd

Being me

For just one day, maybe even an hour, I want to quit being me. I don't want to be a bereaved mother. I don't want to be a woman who had a baby at only 24 weeks gestation, only to lose him to cancer at three years old. I don't want to spend my life … Continue reading Being me

Limits

If you are fortunate, or lucky, or live a rather untested life, you may have never truly reached your limit with anything. You may be able to tolerate certain behavior from others, take pain and suffering in stride, or push yourself further and further without ever breaking. But if you're like the rest of us, … Continue reading Limits