You turned eleven yesterday. We sang, had a cake, and talked about the day you were born. Even though you are forever three, a toddler, a sweet little man, I like to picture what you’d be like today. You would have been the greatest big brother. Your brother misses you. I know you never met … Continue reading Happy birthday, baby
My favorite event of the year—and technically the only event I attend, ever—is just four days away. The event, NC4K Reindeer Run, occurs annually on the second Saturday in December. This is my 8th year participating, and to date, my group, Team Happy, has a record number of members, 57 in all. This is a … Continue reading For Charity
Seven years ago today I was told to get to the children’s hospital with my son as soon as possible. The ultrasound he had earlier in the day had revealed there were lesions on his liver and a biopsy was necessary. That night, I would sleep on a faux leather futon next to my sweet … Continue reading Diagnosis
After nearly six months, we are still in quarantine. We are working from home, going to school virtually, and I couldn’t tell you the last time I walked into a restaurant. We are isolated, and alone. But, I am never alone. My son, and my dog, and my husband, are always here. We are all, … Continue reading Space
I’ve been having some crazy dreams and visions the last couple weeks, and since I recently finished Monica Ten-Kate’s ‘Messages from Above,’ I’ve been trying to tune in to signs from spirit. I want to tell this story, but there are so many pieces, I’m going to try to share it chronologically. Apologies for run-on … Continue reading I couldn’t make this up
I had a terrifying moment about a week ago. Technically, nothing happened. But I was more scared, more emotional, and more sure that something had, that I damn near lost my mind. I’m an emotional person. I cry when I feel sad. I yell if I’m really angry or passionate. And I bite my tongue, … Continue reading The stuff inside wants out
Have you ever pictured your child's funeral? Of course not. No one--no one--wants to think about their child dying. For almost five years, when I referred to our three-year-old son's funeral, I said 'service.' I could not bear to admit that we planned, attended, and welcomed friends and family to gather because my son had … Continue reading Funeral for a child
I make a conscious effort to be happy, despite the fact my only born son is in Heaven. I made a promise when his body remained but his sweet soul found a new home, that I would remember just that. And a lot of the time, it is enough. I find beauty in this life … Continue reading The sadness still happens
I have been in a lot of hospitals. Between my organ transplant and birthing a child at 24 weeks who was later diagnosed with cancer, we were admitted to hospitals many, many times There are always questions at registration. Whether you've been there several times and they have your entire medical history on the screen … Continue reading The question
I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices
Parenting Angels 