Welcoming a new decade

We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade

Memories

I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories

Worth a smile

Against my better judgment, I stopped at McDonald's on my way in to work. Now, I know the food is not a solid nutritional choice. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that food is comfort. And they do support the Ronald McDonald House, one of my favorite charities, so I have to … Continue reading Worth a smile

Senseless crime taking children’s lives

I have been obsessively Googling 'school shootings' since the deadly shooting at Saugus High School in Santa Clarita, California yesterday. The statistics are horrific, the fear of recurrence, even worse. As the mother of an angel in Heaven, and a school-aged son on Earth, I cannot comprehend the loss of any child victimized by gun … Continue reading Senseless crime taking children’s lives

My sweet Lady

Coming home today, even though she'd been too tired to get up and greet me for many months, I still expected to hear her, or see her, as I ascended the stairs. But, as I've learned from losses past, I had to remove the triggers. As soon as I arrived home from our last moments … Continue reading My sweet Lady

The will

Does anybody understand the will to live after losing a child? I'm guessing, no, unless you're like me. It would be so much easier to let go. It would be heavenly, to say goodbye to Earth, just to be with my angel in Heaven. I would do anything, anything, to be with him again. My … Continue reading The will

Choices

I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices

Relatable themes

I had the opportunity to go see the play Dear Evan Hansen last week with a friend. She has season tickets to our city theater and I had given her our season tickets for a football game, so it worked out well. The experience was a great trade for many reasons. I never go to … Continue reading Relatable themes

Letter to an old friend

Dear friend, We haven't spoken since the day I saw you at my son's funeral. I lost him, and I lost you. I miss you both. While I have thought about reaching out since that day, I know that it's better I don't. I am not entirely sure what I would say, but I can … Continue reading Letter to an old friend

Feeling death

Just before my angel went to Heaven, I lost my aunt suddenly. She was in her late fifties, caring for an elderly woman as her full-time job, and had no history of any serious illness other than a gluten sensitivity. When she died, I was terribly sad. It was a huge loss for me, and … Continue reading Feeling death