Labeling emotions

My little angel on Earth and I have been attending counseling to help with some behavior challenges. I am still not sure if they are his challenges, or mine, but I felt like we could use some help. So I took a recommendation from his preschool principal, and we have found someone that is helping … Continue reading Labeling emotions

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Trauma and grief

Because I am a neurotic, over-protective, and sometimes insane mother, I have been working with multiple professionals to try to address the needs of my angel on Earth. Like his brother, my angel in Heaven, he has some challenges. But, the challenges of the two are vastly different. My angel in Heaven was 'sick' his … Continue reading Trauma and grief

My two miracles

It has been a tough two weeks. After my #metoo incident, I have had to do a lot of work to be ok. It makes me angry how much is has affected me, my relationships, my thought process, and my work. But I am getting through it and I know eventually, I will be fine. … Continue reading My two miracles

‘You’re a mom. You know.’

I just finished reading a very powerful article about the bonds of motherhood. The article describes a mother, who visits a friend who has just lost her 21-month-old daughter. She has no words. As her friend is describing her heartbreak, she says, "You're a mom. You know." The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to … Continue reading ‘You’re a mom. You know.’

A connection

There is a new department at my office, full of young faces with big dreams. All of the new hires are several years younger than me - most just out of school and working their first professional role. I was in today, on a Saturday, which is not typical. The two gentlemen who work with … Continue reading A connection

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

I received an invitation to a benefit, and the text revealed that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I started searching online for information and was taken to these shocking statistics. One fourth of 15,780 children diagnosed with cancer - that's 3,945 - will not survive. I remember very vividly, after a few hours of … Continue reading Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

Polishing the past

I've written about my necklace before. It was a gift from my 'minions.' My girlfriends who cheered me through my son's chemotherapy. Who set up his service perfectly. Who cried with me. Who send me notes of how they, and their children, remember him, regularly. My girls, my squad, my people. I couldn't survive this … Continue reading Polishing the past

Appreciation

We just got back from our annual beach vacation. A vacation my husband's family has been taking for nearly four decades. A vacation that holds nostalgia of carefree childhood memories and stories I've now heard every summer for the twelve years I've been invited. A vacation we missed one year when our sweet angel spent … Continue reading Appreciation

My rainbow baby

This term, defined in loss-parenting circles, as the child you conceive and deliver after pregnancy loss, still birth, or child loss. The 'rainbow babies' are our glimmer of hope, the reward for our trauma, the reason to keep trying and keep hoping. I was never going to have a rainbow baby. Soon after our son … Continue reading My rainbow baby

You’re always my story

I'm in California this week, working. My days are fueled with forced smiles, beautiful views, and empathetic nods. It's a good trip so far. But every time I have to talk about me, I always talk about you. My story, though simple to an outsider, is so incredibly complex, because of you. "I have an … Continue reading You’re always my story