My sweet son, just out of the bath, hooded towel over his head, his arms wrapped tightly to his body, paused. “Mommy?” He asked as he turned the doorknob of his bedroom. “Can anything come back from Heaven?” He asked inquisitively. I looked at him for a split second, panicked and replied, “No, honey.” “Not … Continue reading Answering tough questions
I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories
I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices
One of the many things I have learned since adopting a child from foster care is that change of any kind can often be a trigger and cause emotional turmoil. Our sweet angel on Earth finished his last year of preschool and quickly adjusted to the summer life of part time daycare and part time … Continue reading Change in routine
This is the fourth Christmas we have celebrated with our angel in Heaven. It will be the third we are celebrating with our angel on Earth. It is the very first Christmas where we have a child who is cognizant of Santa, terribly excited for him to visit, planning what kind and where the cookies … Continue reading Magical Christmas
My little angel on Earth and I have been attending counseling to help with some behavior challenges. I am still not sure if they are his challenges, or mine, but I felt like we could use some help. So I took a recommendation from his preschool principal, and we have found someone that is helping … Continue reading Labeling emotions
Because I am a neurotic, over-protective, and sometimes insane mother, I have been working with multiple professionals to try to address the needs of my angel on Earth. Like his brother, my angel in Heaven, he has some challenges. But, the challenges of the two are vastly different. My angel in Heaven was 'sick' his … Continue reading Trauma and grief
My angel in Heaven was special from the moment he entered this Earth. At one pound, one ounce, he would need levels of intervention reserved for the most extreme circumstances. I remember the pediatric resident, who was maybe fifteen, talking me through what 23 weeks gestation really meant when I was first hospitalized and ordered … Continue reading My special boys
As I'm writing this, I can see my angel on Earth, his sleepy eyes fading as his head lies at the foot of his bed. He peers through the tiny opening of his bedroom door. I put him to bed with his two books after a night with a babysitter because I had a PTA … Continue reading Security
Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of our angel on Earth becoming our child, legally. Physically, he looks as if he could be our child biologically. Emotionally, he is bonded to us and we are bonded to him as if he has been our child since birth. Spiritually, I feel like he was our child … Continue reading Gotcha day
