Happy birthday, baby

You turned eleven yesterday. We sang, had a cake, and talked about the day you were born. Even though you are forever three, a toddler, a sweet little man, I like to picture what you’d be like today. You would have been the greatest big brother. Your brother misses you. I know you never met … Continue reading Happy birthday, baby

Women’s Rights 2022

Thoughts on Overturning Roe v Wade From a mother who lost a young son As a mother who lost a son, and subsequently adopted one, you may think that I believe all babies, no matter the circumstance, should be born. I always wanted to be a mother, and I made many sacrifices to be one. … Continue reading Women’s Rights 2022

My only child

My son is an only child. He has a brother in Heaven who he never met. Today, after spending the morning with Grammy and Grampy, he insisted on playing ‘the floor is lava’ in our basement. We gathered yoga mats and pillows, the dog bed, a blanket, and a stool. We had to stand on … Continue reading My only child

Answering tough questions

My sweet son, just out of the bath, hooded towel over his head, his arms wrapped tightly to his body, paused. “Mommy?” He asked as he turned the doorknob of his bedroom. “Can anything come back from Heaven?” He asked inquisitively. I looked at him for a split second, panicked and replied, “No, honey.” “Not … Continue reading Answering tough questions

Memories

I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories

Choices

I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices

Change in routine

One of the many things I have learned since adopting a child from foster care is that change of any kind can often be a trigger and cause emotional turmoil. Our sweet angel on Earth finished his last year of preschool and quickly adjusted to the summer life of part time daycare and part time … Continue reading Change in routine

Magical Christmas

This is the fourth Christmas we have celebrated with our angel in Heaven. It will be the third we are celebrating with our angel on Earth. It is the very first Christmas where we have a child who is cognizant of Santa, terribly excited for him to visit, planning what kind and where the cookies … Continue reading Magical Christmas

Labeling emotions

My little angel on Earth and I have been attending counseling to help with some behavior challenges. I am still not sure if they are his challenges, or mine, but I felt like we could use some help. So I took a recommendation from his preschool principal, and we have found someone that is helping … Continue reading Labeling emotions

Trauma and grief

Because I am a neurotic, over-protective, and sometimes insane mother, I have been working with multiple professionals to try to address the needs of my angel on Earth. Like his brother, my angel in Heaven, he has some challenges. But, the challenges of the two are vastly different. My angel in Heaven was 'sick' his … Continue reading Trauma and grief