My special boys

My angel in Heaven was special from the moment he entered this Earth. At one pound, one ounce, he would need levels of intervention reserved for the most extreme circumstances. I remember the pediatric resident, who was maybe fifteen, talking me through what 23 weeks gestation really meant when I was first hospitalized and ordered … Continue reading My special boys

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Security

As I'm writing this, I can see my angel on Earth, his sleepy eyes fading as his head lies at the foot of his bed. He peers through the tiny opening of his bedroom door. I put him to bed with his two books after a night with a babysitter because I had a PTA … Continue reading Security

Gotcha day

Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of our angel on Earth becoming our child, legally. Physically, he looks as if he could be our child biologically. Emotionally, he is bonded to us and we are bonded to him as if he has been our child since birth.¬†Spiritually, I feel like he was our child … Continue reading Gotcha day

This is it

This article, originally posted on Still Standing, describes, so closely, so perfectly, how I feel, always. My girlfriend asked me just yesterday, as we packed up baby items to donate, if I wake up every day thinking of him. Yes, of course I do. And I fall asleep every night dreaming of him. My waking … Continue reading This is it

The sweetest thing

It was a beautiful day, and my little angel on Earth wanted to go the playground after dinner. We decided to ride his bike to the 'big' playground, even though I wasn't sure his legs, or the training wheels, could make the trip. He did great on his bike. A few spills, but nothing he … Continue reading The sweetest thing

Manifesting destiny

I read an amazing article yesterday about two women who met on an airplane. The chance encounter led one to become the adoptive mother of the other's child. Not only was it a truly inspiring story with a super sweet and happy ending, but the quote from the adoptive mother really resonated with me. "I … Continue reading Manifesting destiny

Easter with Angels

As I frantically shopped for chocolate bunnies and jelly beans this evening after my angel on Earth had eaten a healthy dinner and was settling in for a quiet evening with Daddy, I was remembering the only three Easters we celebrated with our angel in Heaven. I vividly remember our last, as we were in … Continue reading Easter with Angels

Our favorites

I realized an irony tonight as my little one and I settled in under a shared blanket on our worn-in couch, with both dogs nestled by our sides. He isn't feeling 100% and has had a little cough, a very slight fever, and less energy than a typical fun Friday afternoon. We had a small … Continue reading Our favorites

Three years

Hello, my sweet angel in Heaven. Thank you for visiting my dreams last night. I knew today would be a hard day, and I'm so happy I got a glimpse of you, even if faint, and even if brief. There are a lot of days I don't want to get out of bed. Today I … Continue reading Three years