One of the many things I have learned since adopting a child from foster care is that change of any kind can often be a trigger and cause emotional turmoil.
Our sweet angel on Earth finished his last year of preschool and quickly adjusted to the summer life of part time daycare and part time ‘Grammy and Grampy’ days.
I, however, have had a much tougher time adjusting. As our little guy has learned to ride ‘on two wheels’ as he’d put it, and stays up later as the sun refuses to set, and comes home covered in water, mud or dirt every day, I struggle because I am not enjoying all that time with him.
I do not get summers off. My days are slower, but I don’t have enough flexibility to be home. And I truly feel like I am missing out.
He’s getting to an age where I have to correct behavior much less frequently. He’s become independent in ways I wondered if they’d ever be possible. He gets himself up, he dresses himself, he brushes his own teeth. And it so great watching him grow and blossom into a little man.
And we are starting to have a lot of fun together. It’s been almost three years since he came home and those first couple weren’t easy. We were getting to know one another. And he was craving so much that he’d missed out on in early years.
So I am trying to soak up every minute. Because in a matter of weeks he will be a Kindergartener. He will be a big kid, with new friends and may want to ride on two wheels with them instead of Mommy.
These moments – moments I never got with my angel in Heaven – are fast and fleeting. And I am trying so hard to enjoy them and adjust to the constant change. Because, as I’ve learned, change can be triggering.
But it also can be wonderful.