Labeling emotions

My little angel on Earth and I have been attending counseling to help with some behavior challenges. I am still not sure if they are his challenges, or mine, but I felt like we could use some help. So I took a recommendation from his preschool principal, and we have found someone that is helping … Continue reading Labeling emotions

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Trauma and grief

Because I am a neurotic, over-protective, and sometimes insane mother, I have been working with multiple professionals to try to address the needs of my angel on Earth. Like his brother, my angel in Heaven, he has some challenges. But, the challenges of the two are vastly different. My angel in Heaven was 'sick' his … Continue reading Trauma and grief

My two miracles

It has been a tough two weeks. After my #metoo incident, I have had to do a lot of work to be ok. It makes me angry how much is has affected me, my relationships, my thought process, and my work. But I am getting through it and I know eventually, I will be fine. … Continue reading My two miracles

‘You’re a mom. You know.’

I just finished reading a very powerful article about the bonds of motherhood. The article describes a mother, who visits a friend who has just lost her 21-month-old daughter. She has no words. As her friend is describing her heartbreak, she says, "You're a mom. You know." The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to … Continue reading ‘You’re a mom. You know.’

It is never acceptable

I have read, and reread, and edited this post many times over the past three days. I have been terrified to publish it. I am worried how I will appear and how it may affect my family. But this blog has always been a part of my therapy, my healing. And I feel it is … Continue reading It is never acceptable

A connection

There is a new department at my office, full of young faces with big dreams. All of the new hires are several years younger than me - most just out of school and working their first professional role. I was in today, on a Saturday, which is not typical. The two gentlemen who work with … Continue reading A connection

My special boys

My angel in Heaven was special from the moment he entered this Earth. At one pound, one ounce, he would need levels of intervention reserved for the most extreme circumstances. I remember the pediatric resident, who was maybe fifteen, talking me through what 23 weeks gestation really meant when I was first hospitalized and ordered … Continue reading My special boys

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

I received an invitation to a benefit, and the text revealed that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I started searching online for information and was taken to these shocking statistics. One fourth of 15,780 children diagnosed with cancer - that's 3,945 - will not survive. I remember very vividly, after a few hours of … Continue reading Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

Security

As I'm writing this, I can see my angel on Earth, his sleepy eyes fading as his head lies at the foot of his bed. He peers through the tiny opening of his bedroom door. I put him to bed with his two books after a night with a babysitter because I had a PTA … Continue reading Security

Polishing the past

I've written about my necklace before. It was a gift from my 'minions.' My girlfriends who cheered me through my son's chemotherapy. Who set up his service perfectly. Who cried with me. Who send me notes of how they, and their children, remember him, regularly. My girls, my squad, my people. I couldn't survive this … Continue reading Polishing the past