My favorite event of the year—and technically the only event I attend, ever—is just four days away. The event, NC4K Reindeer Run, occurs annually on the second Saturday in December. This is my 8th year participating, and to date, my group, Team Happy, has a record number of members, 57 in all. This is a … Continue reading For Charity
Mourners talk about the waves of grief. I’ve experienced it. It’s unpredictable. It’s rough. But when it’s calm, it’s bliss. I’m on the top of the wave now, ready to roll softly and safely straight into shore. I got a visit from my baby yesterday. I couldn’t feel better. So, I’m riding it. I’m trying … Continue reading The Waves of Grief
Hi, Baby, I took your brother to his new gymnastics class today. He’s learning how to walk the balance beam, climb the rope, and leap from up high into a pit of foam. It reminded me of the days I used to take you to physical therapy. You were so close to walking. You’d smile … Continue reading Crying at Gymnastics
I have walls that protect me inside my home. I have skin that protects the systems that keep my body operating. And I have boundaries to protect my heart from pain, hurt, and disappointment. I’ve gotten better at communicating my boundaries, and caring less about how others feel about them. I’m fragile. I lost my … Continue reading Loss and boundaries
I’ve been having some crazy dreams and visions the last couple weeks, and since I recently finished Monica Ten-Kate’s ‘Messages from Above,’ I’ve been trying to tune in to signs from spirit. I want to tell this story, but there are so many pieces, I’m going to try to share it chronologically. Apologies for run-on … Continue reading I couldn’t make this up
My sweet son, just out of the bath, hooded towel over his head, his arms wrapped tightly to his body, paused. “Mommy?” He asked as he turned the doorknob of his bedroom. “Can anything come back from Heaven?” He asked inquisitively. I looked at him for a split second, panicked and replied, “No, honey.” “Not … Continue reading Answering tough questions
Hi, baby. It's your mommy here, wishing you a very happy birthday in Heaven. Tomorrow you will be eight, even though you stopped aging at three. In years past, we have celebrated the day you entered this world with floating lanterns, a cake, and blowing bubbles. As tomorrow approaches, we have planned to do none … Continue reading On your eighth birthday
For the precious three years we had with our son, I was not only a mother, but a nurse. I went to journalism school, so this was not my chosen profession. However, with g-tubes, central lines, physical and occupational therapies, and various daily dosages, I was required to know more than I ever expected about … Continue reading It’s not weird
We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade
I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories
Parenting Angels 