Choices

I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices

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Relatable themes

I had the opportunity to go see the play Dear Evan Hansen last week with a friend. She has season tickets to our city theater and I had given her our season tickets for a football game, so it worked out well. The experience was a great trade for many reasons. I never go to … Continue reading Relatable themes

My lyrics

I heard Taylor Swift's Soon You'll Get Better today. Yes, there were a lot of tears. Her mom battled cancer and won. I thought, if I had written and recorded a song, would my angel have lived? That's one of the toughest parts of grieving. Worrying you didn't do enough. Maybe he could have been … Continue reading My lyrics

Feeling death

Just before my angel went to Heaven, I lost my aunt suddenly. She was in her late fifties, caring for an elderly woman as her full-time job, and had no history of any serious illness other than a gluten sensitivity. When she died, I was terribly sad. It was a huge loss for me, and … Continue reading Feeling death

The parenting conundrum

Often on my drive home from work I have conversations with myself. Sometimes, I literally talk to myself out loud. Myself and I discuss they day's events, ponder the meaning of life, and compliment one another on the superb job we are doing at surviving. Other times, I speak, answering questions as if I am … Continue reading The parenting conundrum

A sweet send off

Hi, Baby. Mommy hears you. -- Our youngest dog, age thirteen, passed away just before the Fourth of July. She was a warrior just like our angel. My angel on Earth said it best. ‘Mommy, my brother will have his puppy in Heaven.’ We were getting ready for our annual beach vacation. I had gathered … Continue reading A sweet send off

My two sons

One son sleeps in the room next door One son sleeps in a box engraved with his name One son will awake to sunshine and the promise of life One son is forever asleep One son bounces on a trampoline and scrapes his knees when he falls One son bounces on clouds and falls onto … Continue reading My two sons

He’s everywhere

I finally got my little angel on Earth back after his week-long trip with Daddy. They got home Friday afternoon and he was pretty much a mess of tears all evening. He was tired, and transitions are always tough for him, so early to bed it was. Saturday morning we woke up early and typically … Continue reading He’s everywhere

The soul’s journey

I had a thought today and instantly felt more connected to my angel in Heaven. I was driving home from work and looked up in awe at an impending storm cloud approaching. Whenever I look to the sky, I think of Heaven and what my sweet baby is doing right in that moment. That enormous … Continue reading The soul’s journey

My husband

'Thank you for saving our son's life tonight,' I thought to myself. 'I'm sorry I couldn't save his brother.' I had wished I could say those words out loud to my husband tonight. In the quickest and swiftest of moments, as I leaned over to scoop food into the dog bowl, I looked up to … Continue reading My husband