It’s not weird

For the precious three years we had with our son, I was not only a mother, but a nurse. I went to journalism school, so this was not my chosen profession. However, with g-tubes, central lines, physical and occupational therapies, and various daily dosages, I was required to know more than I ever expected about … Continue reading It’s not weird

Welcoming a new decade

We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade

Memories

I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories

Worth a smile

Against my better judgment, I stopped at McDonald's on my way in to work. Now, I know the food is not a solid nutritional choice. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that food is comfort. And they do support the Ronald McDonald House, one of my favorite charities, so I have to … Continue reading Worth a smile

The question

I have been in a lot of hospitals. Between my organ transplant and birthing a child at 24 weeks who was later diagnosed with cancer, we were admitted to hospitals many, many times There are always questions at registration. Whether you've been there several times and they have your entire medical history on the screen … Continue reading The question

My sweet Lady

Coming home today, even though she'd been too tired to get up and greet me for many months, I still expected to hear her, or see her, as I ascended the stairs. But, as I've learned from losses past, I had to remove the triggers. As soon as I arrived home from our last moments … Continue reading My sweet Lady

Choices

I remember taking a class many years ago when our angel in Heaven was becoming a toddler. After ten months in the NICU following his birth, he was developmentally still an infant. When we were finally able to bring him home, he couldn't yet roll over, he certainly wasn't crawling, and we worked with OT … Continue reading Choices

Relatable themes

I had the opportunity to go see the play Dear Evan Hansen last week with a friend. She has season tickets to our city theater and I had given her our season tickets for a football game, so it worked out well. The experience was a great trade for many reasons. I never go to … Continue reading Relatable themes

My lyrics

I heard Taylor Swift's Soon You'll Get Better today. Yes, there were a lot of tears. Her mom battled cancer and won. I thought, if I had written and recorded a song, would my angel have lived? That's one of the toughest parts of grieving. Worrying you didn't do enough. Maybe he could have been … Continue reading My lyrics

Feeling death

Just before my angel went to Heaven, I lost my aunt suddenly. She was in her late fifties, caring for an elderly woman as her full-time job, and had no history of any serious illness other than a gluten sensitivity. When she died, I was terribly sad. It was a huge loss for me, and … Continue reading Feeling death