Our First Vacation without Him

Well, we made it. We drove ten hours, on a different path through separate states than years prior, stopping to see friends on the way, and planning new adventures so we could start anew with fresh memories.

That plan was phenomenal in theory. In reality, there is nothing, ever, that will stop us from missing our baby. We will always want him in the back seat of the car. We will always want him in the stroller on morning walks.

We will always compare him to the other kids that don’t quite measure up. Because we are parents. And our kid, just like any parents’ kid, will always be better than everyone else’s kid. The difference is, everyone else gets to have their kid on vacation.

But then we take a minute and realize, it’s not their fault that they are lucky to have their kids. And we want them to feel that joy. We want to watch from afar and share a little bit of their feeling that “hey, look at this awesome kid that I created and taught to catch a frisbee!”

And they should be damned proud! They did that. And they get to enjoy that. On the beach with the people they love. So we are going to enjoy it too. For our son. Because he didn’t have bitter, angry, sad, resentful parents.

He had parents that fought for him every day. They fought so he could have a life with joy and a little normalcy. They didn’t get angry because he had it a little tough. They didn’t say “whoa is me” and pout in a corner. They didn’t get mad at other people because they were lucky to have health and fortune.

They celebrated the fortune of others. They celebrated the fortune they had…the love and support of their amazing friends. And the amazing three years they had with their baby.

So today we are going to celebrate. We are going to celebrate him. Because he was an amazing kid with phenomenal friends that wouldn’t let him sit and sulk. They would tell him to go bounce on that cloud and play in his big house in Heaven. Because he is lucky. And so are we.

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