As I continue to navigate the never ending journey of grieving the loss of my son, I have begun exploring my preconceptions and convictions relating to religion and spirituality. Without truly understanding, and knowing it’s most likely beyond my comprehension, I feel that my sweet baby is not far away and that we have a deep connection that exists outside this physical world.

Nothing will ever ease the pain of knowing he will never have a first day of kindergarten, learn how to ride a bike or throw a baseball with his daddy. I will forever grieve the beautiful boy he was, the teenager I assumed would challenge me and the man I hoped he would some day become.

But his soul – his beautiful, gracious, cheerful, endearing and perseverant soul – will forever be a part of the mother I was, the woman I am and the inspiration I hope to become.