This life

I got the opportunity to talk about my son today to a new friend who has only seen him in pictures. She asked about his story and how we lost him, then apologized for bringing up a ‘sore subject.’

I immediately asked her not to apologize and told her the subject of my son will never be sore. Yes, we lost him. Yes, it’s the biggest heartbreak I’ve ever known and leaves a permanent scar on my soul. But I love to talk about him.

And we didn’t just talk about him – though I didn’t hesitate to gush over what a happy guy and sweet little man he was. But we talked about the amazing gift his life was to me as a person.

There are days when all I can do is miss him. But there are many more days where I’m learning to enjoy the life I have.

A life where my family treasures togetherness just a little more because they know the true meaning of loss. A life where the little things don’t matter anymore and making memories and discovering new passions have become a priority. A life where I can appreciate that being good and cultivating relationships with good people is a privilege and an effort. A life where I get an opportunity to say, or hear, the words ‘I love you’ every single day.

It takes all of me to continually remind myself that this life is good. I would give anything to have my son here with me on Earth. But I will forever be grateful for what my angel has taught me.

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