I have been witness to many selfish behaviors lately, which has led me to realize how I’m also often passing judgement on others. I can certainly work on the judgement part, but the other worries me.

Today at work, I went into the kitchen to drop off a plate I had used and noticed a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes, so rather than adding to the collection in the sink, I put away the clean mugs, spoons and bowls, then loaded the dirty plates, including my own, into the dishwasher.

As I left the kitchen, a coworker said to me, “Oh, I heard someone in there, but didn’t realize it was you. Were you cleaning up the kitchen?”

I answered yes, and said that I’d had a dirty plate and didn’t want to leave it in the sink for someone else to clean, so I emptied and loaded the dishwasher.

“I would have just hand washed it, rather than cleaning up after everyone else who was too lazy to do it themselves.”

“I don’t mind,” I said, “and I’m trying to get into Heaven,” I whispered under my breath as I walked away.

It was very uncharacteristic of me to say such a thing, but it’s exactly how I felt in that moment. Intentionally not cleaning the kitchen, and essentially bragging about it, to prove what point? That “I’ll show you” attitude is exactly what spoils relationships, ruins camaraderie, erases empathy.

Spite. It’s toxic, and just plain nasty.

What happened to doing things for others because it feels good, because it helps, because we are kind? Why are we fostering environments of discord, disgrace, and discomfort? That’s not a world I want to live in or a message I want to spread.

I want to spread spirit instead of spite. The spirit of giving to those in need. The spirit of laughter to those who are sad. The spirit of health to those who are sick. And the spirit of kindness to those who are hurting.

I realize my judgement of this scenario and my writing about it may be fostering negativity and therefore making me a hypocrite. But I felt like pointing it out was necessary to illustrate a point.

My one goal – my only purpose in this life – is to do my very best, be my very best, so that I can get into Heaven and be with my sweet baby once again. When we, as humans, act vengeful, with spite, in anger, with hate, even in its mildest form, it spreads a message, a toxicity, and it bleeds to those around us.

Even in something as simple as a community dishwasher. Respect your co-workers. Appreciate your partners. Say ‘thank you.’ Remind everyone, anyone, how important they are to you. Be kind, be intentional, be cognizant. How you behave matters.