I feel like I have been 'over the hill' since about age 25. My journey through the decades has been arduous, exciting, and exhausting. As I come closer and closer to my next decade of life, I realize how much I change with every decade that passes. In my first decade as a person, I … Continue reading Approaching the big 4-0
Hi, baby. It's your mommy here, wishing you a very happy birthday in Heaven. Tomorrow you will be eight, even though you stopped aging at three. In years past, we have celebrated the day you entered this world with floating lanterns, a cake, and blowing bubbles. As tomorrow approaches, we have planned to do none … Continue reading On your eighth birthday
For the precious three years we had with our son, I was not only a mother, but a nurse. I went to journalism school, so this was not my chosen profession. However, with g-tubes, central lines, physical and occupational therapies, and various daily dosages, I was required to know more than I ever expected about … Continue reading It’s not weird
We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade
I vowed to myself before Thanksgiving that this holiday season would not cause me stress. Not that it typically does, but as a mother with an angel in Heaven, who spent multiple Christmases in the hospital with her baby, triggers are plentiful at holiday time. Between hockey practice and my haircut today, I watched Sleepless … Continue reading Memories
Against my better judgment, I stopped at McDonald's on my way in to work. Now, I know the food is not a solid nutritional choice. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that food is comfort. And they do support the Ronald McDonald House, one of my favorite charities, so I have to … Continue reading Worth a smile
I have been obsessively Googling 'school shootings' since the deadly shooting at Saugus High School in Santa Clarita, California yesterday. The statistics are horrific, the fear of recurrence, even worse. As the mother of an angel in Heaven, and a school-aged son on Earth, I cannot comprehend the loss of any child victimized by gun … Continue reading Senseless crime taking children’s lives
I have been in a lot of hospitals. Between my organ transplant and birthing a child at 24 weeks who was later diagnosed with cancer, we were admitted to hospitals many, many times There are always questions at registration. Whether you've been there several times and they have your entire medical history on the screen … Continue reading The question
Coming home today, even though she'd been too tired to get up and greet me for many months, I still expected to hear her, or see her, as I ascended the stairs. But, as I've learned from losses past, I had to remove the triggers. As soon as I arrived home from our last moments … Continue reading My sweet Lady
Does anybody understand the will to live after losing a child? I'm guessing, no, unless you're like me. It would be so much easier to let go. It would be heavenly, to say goodbye to Earth, just to be with my angel in Heaven. I would do anything, anything, to be with him again. My … Continue reading The will
Parenting Angels 