My fear

In this current environment, with an under-researched threat of disease, an ill-prepared government, and an unknown global impact, I can't help thinking about death itself. Truly, during the year of 2015 with a series of very tragic family losses, including my son's, I viewed death in a very new way. I started to embrace the … Continue reading My fear

The roles we play

I have become my child’s best friend. I have become my husband’s true partner. And they have become mine. As a family, we are cooperating and really trying to just enjoy each other. Arguments have been paused and personality conflicts overlooked. My angel in Heaven has become the subject of my dreams and my resource … Continue reading The roles we play

Mercy Now

You may laugh, you may cry, you may ignore this post. But I thought it was worth sharing.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo7g3ehC-O0 May you all continue to live in hope and love. Even when you may not feel like it.  Thanks to my Mom for sharing this with me.

Grief and the international crisis

This is usually the hardest week for me since losing our three-year-old son five years ago after a five-month battle with cancer. Last year, I took two weeks off work--hibernating and crying for most of that time--to let myself succumb to the grief and just feel the sadness. This year is different. Our world is … Continue reading Grief and the international crisis

The sadness still happens

I make a conscious effort to be happy, despite the fact my only born son is in Heaven. I made a promise when his body remained but his sweet soul found a new home, that I would remember just that. And a lot of the time, it is enough. I find beauty in this life … Continue reading The sadness still happens

Sameness in loss

I am blessed to have really good friends. Many of us have known each other since childhood, and we all had our children around the same time. There are a lot of similarities among us--how we parent, how we see the world, qualities we appreciate in our spouses. But there is one thing that separates … Continue reading Sameness in loss

Approaching the big 4-0

I feel like I have been 'over the hill' since about age 25. My journey through the decades has been arduous, exciting, and exhausting. As I come closer and closer to my next decade of life, I realize how much I change with every decade that passes. In my first decade as a person, I … Continue reading Approaching the big 4-0

On your eighth birthday

Hi, baby. It's your mommy here, wishing you a very happy birthday in Heaven. Tomorrow you will be eight, even though you stopped aging at three. In years past, we have celebrated the day you entered this world with floating lanterns, a cake, and blowing bubbles. As tomorrow approaches, we have planned to do none … Continue reading On your eighth birthday

It’s not weird

For the precious three years we had with our son, I was not only a mother, but a nurse. I went to journalism school, so this was not my chosen profession. However, with g-tubes, central lines, physical and occupational therapies, and various daily dosages, I was required to know more than I ever expected about … Continue reading It’s not weird

Welcoming a new decade

We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade