Have you ever pictured your child's funeral? Of course not. No one--no one--wants to think about their child dying. For almost five years, when I referred to our three-year-old son's funeral, I said 'service.' I could not bear to admit that we planned, attended, and welcomed friends and family to gather because my son had … Continue reading Funeral for a child
We are living in a scary world, an uncertain time, an unbelievable crisis. We are doing our best to model behavior for our children. We are attempting to stay sane while waking each day to unanswered questions and a rising threat. I've spoken with friends about how they are handling working, teaching, parenting, marriage, and … Continue reading Taking a breath
In this current environment, with an under-researched threat of disease, an ill-prepared government, and an unknown global impact, I can't help thinking about death itself. Truly, during the year of 2015 with a series of very tragic family losses, including my son's, I viewed death in a very new way. I started to embrace the … Continue reading My fear
I have become my child’s best friend. I have become my husband’s true partner. And they have become mine. As a family, we are cooperating and really trying to just enjoy each other. Arguments have been paused and personality conflicts overlooked. My angel in Heaven has become the subject of my dreams and my resource … Continue reading The roles we play
This is usually the hardest week for me since losing our three-year-old son five years ago after a five-month battle with cancer. Last year, I took two weeks off work--hibernating and crying for most of that time--to let myself succumb to the grief and just feel the sadness. This year is different. Our world is … Continue reading Grief and the international crisis
I make a conscious effort to be happy, despite the fact my only born son is in Heaven. I made a promise when his body remained but his sweet soul found a new home, that I would remember just that. And a lot of the time, it is enough. I find beauty in this life … Continue reading The sadness still happens
I am blessed to have really good friends. Many of us have known each other since childhood, and we all had our children around the same time. There are a lot of similarities among us--how we parent, how we see the world, qualities we appreciate in our spouses. But there is one thing that separates … Continue reading Sameness in loss
I feel like I have been 'over the hill' since about age 25. My journey through the decades has been arduous, exciting, and exhausting. As I come closer and closer to my next decade of life, I realize how much I change with every decade that passes. In my first decade as a person, I … Continue reading Approaching the big 4-0
Hi, baby. It's your mommy here, wishing you a very happy birthday in Heaven. Tomorrow you will be eight, even though you stopped aging at three. In years past, we have celebrated the day you entered this world with floating lanterns, a cake, and blowing bubbles. As tomorrow approaches, we have planned to do none … Continue reading On your eighth birthday
We did it. We survived another year with our angel in Heaven. Today, and there is a very good chance this could change tomorrow, or even in five minutes, but today I feel really good about starting a new year. The past year has brought challenges, new opportunities, and difficulties. But in the fifth year … Continue reading Welcoming a new decade
Parenting Angels 