I find myself struggling with this impossible battle of the highs and lows of grief. I've heard some compare it to the waves of an ocean and have myself likened it to a tsunami. But lately, as hard as I try to move forward, find meaning, get better, I'm starting to wonder if maybe grief … Continue reading That feeling
happiness as looking forward to waking up every day rather than looking forward to going to sleep at night
My aunt and I both joined the worst club on the planet in 2015 - we both lost a child. We are now grieving mothers, parenting children in Heaven. Each day we manage to take one more step forward without our sons and each day we live with holes in our hearts and empty rooms … Continue reading Grieving together
I made the choice to bring you here I kept you warm and held you near I sang you to sleep every night When you hurt I held you tight I kept you safe above all cost Without you all I feel is lost I planned the years I'd watch you grow So much of … Continue reading I’d give it all
Every mother remembers her baby's first word, the first tooth, the first step. Some babies walk at nine months old, some at twelve or even fourteen. Many mothers worry when their baby's development isn't "typical" or takes longer than average. And those worries are totally normal, completely rational and only indicate that you, as a … Continue reading Milestones
The most comforting words I heard at my son's funeral service were, "What was his personality like?" It was a dear friend from years ago I had not seen in over a decade. She obviously had never met my son and I am not sure she was even aware I'd had a child until she'd … Continue reading Please ask
I am making huge efforts to move forward, make progress, continue to live and breathe without my son. But I cannot escape the fact that today is Sunday the 22nd. He died eight months ago on Sunday the 22nd. Even writing the words, "he died," is difficult, surreal, impossible. I've been waking up to silence … Continue reading Not that I’m counting
My husband and I have very similar stories when we reminisce about childhood memories of our grandmas. He never met either of mine and I had the pleasure of knowing and loving only his maternal grandmother. However, all four of our parents had moms who spoiled their grandchildren by filling their bellies, ignoring slight misbehaviors … Continue reading The Gift of Grandmothers
Five months ago today I said goodbye to my baby. Five months I carried him in my womb. Five months he lived with cancer. In the last five months I have painted the kitchen and living room. I painted the garage. I started volunteering and then began a new job. We took two vacations and … Continue reading Five Months (8/22/15)
I only want you to know that my love for you spans all the Heavens and Earth and I will never stop loving you.
Parenting Angels 