Maybe it's this time of year. It was right about now, two years ago, when we first started on the five-month path of trying to cure you. But right now, with the leaves changing, and the pumpkins on the front porches, I just want so badly to remember the good times. Yes, we spent five months … Continue reading Open heart
After eighteen months of tirelessly grieving, missing my baby, searching for answers and struggling to cope, one particular question has continued to plague me. A question that for most requires a yes or no answer. It's black and white. It's simple. It's not leading and it's usually asked in small talk conversations where new friends … Continue reading Answering the question
There aren't many certainties in grief. It's a constant fluctuation of unpredictable emotions, an incurable and constant battle, and an inexplicable, unexplainable state of insanity. But one certainty that I think most loss-moms can agree on, and that is the uncertainty. The uncertainty of when the highs and lows, the waves, and the swings, will … Continue reading Mercy
It's hurting deep down in my belly today, buddy. The crying just won't stop and I can't seem to find the right combination of encouraging thoughts, positive memories, or distractions to fill even a small piece of the suffocating emptiness. All I feel is your absence. And the time. There has been so much time … Continue reading Missing you
I hear this phrase every week from my grief counselor. I have learned to appreciate the words and follow the advice. But I have also determined that I have more control over the journey than I once thought. There's a process to grieving, and the stages have been researched and practiced and labeled and studied. … Continue reading Trust the journey
My baby's loss, how much I miss him, how hard it is for me to continue without him, and how I feel each and every day is a testament to my love for him, but also a reflection of how selfish I have become in grief.
Today I am celebrating. I am celebrating today. We only get so many days. A limited amount. And so many of those days pass wasted. I don't want any more wasted days. So, from now on, I am going to celebrate each and every one. Yesterday I saw a rainbow on my way home. Right … Continue reading Celebrate
Hi, baby. I wanted to take a minute to thank you. For some reason, a reason I am sure you know, and one I will someday understand - when I write to you, when I talk to you, when I pray to you, when I dream of you - I know that you hear me, … Continue reading Gratefulness
Every parent wishes for 'something better' for their children.
Parenting Angels 