Sometimes I cry. I cry long and I cry hard. My body shakes, the tears come until I'm dry and my stomach knots until it gives. My hands grip whatever piece of fabric feels most like him until my nails embed into my skin and my knuckles ache white. My eyes swell and my throat … Continue reading This is my way
Tag: grief
Learning how to win again: update
After writing yesterday's piece, "Learning how to win again" I've done a lot of thinking. This is a pattern I have, and from speaking with others, countless sessions with a grief counselor and reading about grief, it seems it's a fairly common pattern for those dealing with loss. I started feeling guilty. I felt guilty … Continue reading Learning how to win again: update
Learning how to win again
I am a mother, grieving the loss of her son. We fought from the day he was born for his three years of life. I no longer get to fight that battle. I lost. We fought so hard and we lost him anyway. It's been almost a year and my wounds have not healed. I … Continue reading Learning how to win again
That feeling
I find myself struggling with this impossible battle of the highs and lows of grief. I've heard some compare it to the waves of an ocean and have myself likened it to a tsunami. But lately, as hard as I try to move forward, find meaning, get better, I'm starting to wonder if maybe grief … Continue reading That feeling
A reason to grow
As I continue to navigate the never ending journey of grieving the loss of my son, I have begun exploring my preconceptions and convictions relating to religion and spirituality. Without truly understanding, and knowing it's most likely beyond my comprehension, I feel that my sweet baby is not far away and that we have a … Continue reading A reason to grow
Celebrating small wins
I've always considered myself a fairly confident person. I'll find someone to talk with in a room full of strangers, I don't get nervous speaking in front of a crowd and I handle interviews with grace and composure. But now, as a thirty-five year old woman who is starting to notice more lines appearing on … Continue reading Celebrating small wins
Defining happiness
happiness as looking forward to waking up every day rather than looking forward to going to sleep at night
Grieving together
My aunt and I both joined the worst club on the planet in 2015 - we both lost a child. We are now grieving mothers, parenting children in Heaven. Each day we manage to take one more step forward without our sons and each day we live with holes in our hearts and empty rooms … Continue reading Grieving together
I’d give it all
I made the choice to bring you here I kept you warm and held you near I sang you to sleep every night When you hurt I held you tight I kept you safe above all cost Without you all I feel is lost I planned the years I'd watch you grow So much of … Continue reading I’d give it all
Milestones
Every mother remembers her baby's first word, the first tooth, the first step. Some babies walk at nine months old, some at twelve or even fourteen. Many mothers worry when their baby's development isn't "typical" or takes longer than average. And those worries are totally normal, completely rational and only indicate that you, as a … Continue reading Milestones
Parenting Angels 