This particular day has been bittersweet since our beautiful angel went to Heaven. Especially the first, that landed just two months after we lost him. I was childless, but a mother no less.
My girlfriends took the opportunity to make a really tough day special, and have continued to do so every one since.
My motherhood has been unconventional. My first child spent his first ten months of life in the NICU. We never had a typical infant stage with sleepless nights and extreme exhaustion. Other people cared for him the majority of those months.
Our second child was already three years old when I became his mother. Again we did not spend his infancy together. We missed the early milestones.
But despite those missed moments, I have never felt I was less of a mother. Even though my situation is one of uncommon circumstances, tragedy, heartbreak, and the greatest joy I’ve ever known, I have always felt in my heart that I am a mother.
It doesn’t matter how any woman becomes a mother. Whether it’s biologically, through fertility treatments, through adoption, or anything else, being a mother means holding your children close to your heart and sharing a bond that is unbreakable.
And I absolutely have that with both my angel in Heaven and my angel on Earth.