I find myself getting caught in a trap of judgement. I read the news and everyone is taking sides on the current border crisis. I go to work and leave at the end of the day defeated, because there's no solution to the current state of affairs. I go to bed worried that my little … Continue reading The only judge
Child loss teaches invaluable lessons. Some seem obvious, like 'don't take anything for granted,' because you don't know how long you may have it. But there's an important lesson I continue to learn after caring for a terminally I'll child who I now parent in Heaven. And that is that I have to respect, admire, … Continue reading Why I’m #1
I forwarded a little story with my coworkers over email today about some volunteer work my team did at the Ronald McDonald House a couple weeks ago. There were six of us who went and were able to clean six guest rooms in a couple hours. I shared with the other employees across the country … Continue reading Sharing angels
This article, originally posted on Still Standing, describes, so closely, so perfectly, how I feel, always. My girlfriend asked me just yesterday, as we packed up baby items to donate, if I wake up every day thinking of him. Yes, of course I do. And I fall asleep every night dreaming of him. My waking … Continue reading This is it
You've now been in Heaven as long as you were on Earth. It feels impossible that I have lived without you as long as you were with me. But in my heart I know you've never left me. It's still so hard, seeing all your little friends, celebrating their Kindergarten graduations theses past two weeks. … Continue reading Three years, two months
We did some major spring cleaning this past weekend. Our porch was filled Monday morning with four trash bags full of clothes and five boxes of toys labeled for the Vietnam Vets. It felt good to purge so many items that were taking up space and not being used. It got me thinking about some … Continue reading There comes a time
For just one day, maybe even an hour, I want to quit being me. I don't want to be a bereaved mother. I don't want to be a woman who had a baby at only 24 weeks gestation, only to lose him to cancer at three years old. I don't want to spend my life … Continue reading Being me
I stopped for a quick drink with a co-worker this afternoon at the end of a very long and stressful week. I had told myself multiple times throughout my forty plus hours that, if this doesn't matter 100 years from today, it doesn't matter now. We met at the local bar just a mile or … Continue reading Change of personality
If you are fortunate, or lucky, or live a rather untested life, you may have never truly reached your limit with anything. You may be able to tolerate certain behavior from others, take pain and suffering in stride, or push yourself further and further without ever breaking. But if you're like the rest of us, … Continue reading Limits
Life is so hard and I'm thinking tonight that I never want to forget the gravity of my baby going to Heaven. That is the most impactful event of my entire life. It defines my soul and my entire being. I am the mother of a perfect, sweet, innocent child in Heaven. The gravity of … Continue reading Gravity
Parenting Angels 