I remember vividly at my son's service, asking a fellow loss mom, "Does it get easier?" It had been less than a year since she'd lost her son, and here she was, trying to offer me what comfort she could. She said the only answer possible, "It gets different." It's true. There is never an … Continue reading It doesn’t get easier
I find myself getting caught up in the stress of every day life. I forgot how hard it is to balance parenting, work, marriage, a home...and grief. The days can pass by so quickly when the morning consists of rising early, feeding and clothing a toddler, trying to get to preschool with no tears and … Continue reading The little things
Hello, sweet angel. It's so hard to believe in just a few days you would be five years old. A big, healthy, five-year-old boy, thriving in preschool, choosing between soccer or tee ball, saying 'no' more than I'd want to hear, and figuring out just who you are going to be in this wonderful world. … Continue reading To my angel turning five
Holidays can be hard. Holidays are hard. This time of year is work. Juggling commitments, forcing cheer, being without my baby. The most wonderful time of the year can be the worst. Unless, you let the wonderful in. Take a deep breath, get a good lung-full of wintery air, and let the wonderful in. Yes, … Continue reading Let the wonderful in
For everyone grieving, everyone struggling, everyone surviving, there's usually one thing that's harder to do than anything else. One time of day where you can't help but cry. One day of year when getting out of bed just isn't an option. One memory that will always bring that tightness to your tummy, and slowly close … Continue reading The hardest thing
I've noticed this a lot lately, and maybe it's because I know now much more than I used to, that life is a constant battle, but we're often in situations that seem to conclude in winning or losing. I have a theory that one of the keys to a successful marriage is not 'keeping score.' … Continue reading Keeping score
I was looking at a recent picture of myself and realized how focused I was on that picture. The attention I was paying to my appearance. Noticing how I've aged in the months since I've become a grieving mother. My eyes are puffy, red, a little dark. I cry more now. My shoulders hang a … Continue reading I’m good on the inside
Maybe it's this time of year. It was right about now, two years ago, when we first started on the five-month path of trying to cure you. But right now, with the leaves changing, and the pumpkins on the front porches, I just want so badly to remember the good times. Yes, we spent five months … Continue reading Open heart
Hello, friends, It's been longer than normal between my posts. I have plenty of excuses but I'll use the best one I've got. Sometimes, being mother to a child in Heaven is a full time job. Yes, I also have a new full time job. And a marriage. And a house. And a dear family … Continue reading You can
Every day I have to force myself to do something, take action, be better. Every moment of being a grieving mother, living without her only baby, is a concerted effort. But I continually try. I make myself take another step, inhale another breath, sleep another night, and wake another day, because I know it is … Continue reading I made myself
Parenting Angels 