My only baby is in Heaven. But I am still a mother. My husband and I are still parents. And we loved parenting. Not just because we had an unconditional love for our son we had never experienced prior to his existence. But because every moment we spent with him, every argument we had over … Continue reading My top 10 favorite things about parenting
Two months prior to losing my son, during the intensity of his treatment, the gravity of his illness at its heaviest and clinging to the hope of a miracle, my aunt died unexpectedly at the age of 56. I remember the distinct feeling in my heart as my mom was telling me she'd died, that … Continue reading Life lost
In the eighteen months since losing my son, I've navigated grief by tirelessly running my body and brain, hating the world and everyone in it, blaming myself, and trying like hell to find ways to heal. The journey is endless and the path is dense and crooked, but I continue to search for answers that … Continue reading Praying for roadkill
Everyone has their 'people.' Those special few you can count on in a crisis, those who speak truth even if it's hard to hear, those who remind you of your strength when you feel weakest. If you're lucky, and work hard at your relationships, offer kindness and empathy, then you are probably someone's 'person.' One … Continue reading ‘People’ vs. ‘Friends’
I lost my necklace. My necklace, the one I wear every day. My necklace, the one with my sweet baby's initials. My necklace, the one that my girlfriends gave me on my first mother's day after I lost him. My necklace was gone. I was leaving for work and had almost forgotten to put it back … Continue reading A tiny triumph
F*** Cancer. The only two words in my journal one month after I lost my three-year-old son. Of course, in my journal, the word was spelled out in capital letters across the whole page. It was the only thought I could express that day. The only feeling I had. Feelings of sadness, anger, helplessness, against … Continue reading Thoughts on Cancer
Without my sweet angel in Heaven, so many blessings I have today would not have been introduced in my life. My angel, though I would give anything to have him here with me on Earth, watching him grow, relishing every sweet moment of his existence, is helping me to live happy each and every day. … Continue reading An angel’s magic
If you are anything like me, when you get even a short breath, a moment without tears, a minute of relief, you will start to grasp at anything to not feel the pain of grief. Because the pain of grief is unlike any other hurt, or ache, or sadness. You can't relieve the pain of … Continue reading To those grieving
I had a crazy chance encounter today that reminded me what a small world it truly is. I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in over ten years. She is someone I knew very briefly, but remember fondly, and we had lost touch after living in different cities and taking separate paths. But … Continue reading Nothing’s changed
The day after I wrote my last post, I received a very clear message from my sweet angel. I believe if we open our hearts and the energy of our "soul magnets," our loved ones we've lost will send us messages. Some may say it's the desperation of a grieving mama. But a dear, true … Continue reading The language of the universe
Parenting Angels 