This Christmas, we awoke in our own home, to the sound of our sweet angel on Earth exclaiming, "Santa came, Mommy" and walked out of our bedroom to his bouncing and clapping with an innocent energy I've only dreamed existed. Christmas last year he had joined our family only days before and was still so … Continue reading So this is Christmas
I had someone ask me recently, 'What is your greatest fear?' I actually had to think about it, for quite a while, because my instant answer was everything. I fear everything. I am scared of waking up every day to the memory of my baby who's no longer with me. I fear raising a child … Continue reading My greatest fear
My husband, sweet angel, and I spent three beautiful Thanksgiving Days together. Each bittersweet, as we had to make tough decisions about the health of our sweet, fragile baby, that alienated the very people who offered us love and support throughout his short life. But we did what we thought was best, and as I … Continue reading Thankful and grieving
I had a conversation this past week with an associate I've known for years. He and I have worked together in some capacity for over a decade though we've never really talked outside of the professional arena. We went on a team-building exercise to an escape room, where everyone has to work together to collect … Continue reading What we can handle
I picked my little angel on Earth up from daycare this afternoon and asked him if he wanted to go to the store with me. I had several errands to run as we are having a little belated birthday celebration for him tomorrow. He happily said yes and we drove to the local supermarket. As … Continue reading A hello from the Heavens
I don't write to express political beliefs or comment on the state of our nation. I do it for me, to heal, to convince myself that I am ok, and that this wonderful life can continue even after tragedy. But this last month has been really tough. Tough for a lot of people in many … Continue reading With a little faith
It's no secret that I am a grieving mother, struggling every day to balance a busy life while remembering my sweet angel in Heaven. That struggle has been tougher this week as I've had longer, harder, busier days. My angel on earth has tested me a little more and is showing his independence in new … Continue reading A common theme
In the last two months I've lost almost 15 pounds, but I feel heavier than I have in many years. The weight of responsibility in a world where I am now in control of my body, my emotions, my feelings, my little family, is absolutely, terrifyingly suffocating. The world that consumed me just months ago … Continue reading The weight of it
As a bereaved mother, the parent of an angel, I have an emotional reserve no bigger than a thimble. Yes, the amount of stress, duress, conflict, it takes to fill me up and tip me over could fit inside a cup no bigger than the tip of my finger. I have worked extremely hard to … Continue reading Emotional capacity
I had the pleasure of talking briefly about my angel today to one of my doctors, who also happens to be a dear friend. I'd gone to see him after a week of suffering a terrible cough I was convinced had turned to fatal pneumonia. Turns out it was a virus with some bronchial irritation, … Continue reading Managing
Parenting Angels 