It has been a tough week and I was letting my grief, among other things, overwhelm me. I have been angered by situations beyond my control, frustrated by unfavorable outcomes, and sad that I was allowing my emotions to cloud my logic. Today on my drive to work, I decided I was going to treat … Continue reading I am more powerful than grief
I remember being ten years old, standing, arms raised, left toe pointed in front of me, poised, confident, balanced. I would throw my arms upward, flip blindly backward, and land firmly on a four inch wide beam. Poised, confident, balanced. Lately, I feel like all I am doing is flipping blindly and falling hard. My … Continue reading Balancing
'God is good.' The last time I heard this phrase uttered aloud directly to me, my son was dying. Today, as I sat in the emergency room of the hospital, where I was given a second chance at life almost ten years ago, I heard those words again. They were said to me by a … Continue reading ‘God is good’
Most life lessons I've learned have come from hardship and tragedy. It seems that's just how life works. And I certainly would not have the wisdom of forethought, the appreciation for goodness nor the ability to approach challenges with logic and reason had I not had those experiences. I've learned that life isn't fair. You … Continue reading Life lessons
How can happiness and hurt coexist in the same heart? Why, when the happy happens, does the hurt always manage to squeeze its way in and take up space? Will there ever be a time where I get to have a heart filled with happy and the hurt fades away? As a grieving mother, I … Continue reading Happiness and hurt
It takes too much energy to be angry. It's exhausting being sad all the time. I just wish I could live happy. It's not just a wish. It's a goal. I want to live happy. I try to achieve it every day. I strive for happiness by surrounding myself with positive, good-hearted, selfless people. I … Continue reading Live happy
I got the opportunity to talk about my son today to a new friend who has only seen him in pictures. She asked about his story and how we lost him, then apologized for bringing up a 'sore subject.' I immediately asked her not to apologize and told her the subject of my son will … Continue reading This life
Life is a series of battles. Some are worth fighting and some we just have to concede. There are some rules meant to be broken and lines meant to be crossed. By standing firm in our convictions and breaking through boundaries, we grow, we progress, we improve. But in the greatest of fights, there often … Continue reading When all the fight is gone
Grief would not exist without love. For any of us to find a reason for our suffering, a purpose to surviving, a meaning to this life that so often seems to destroy us, we must realize there is hope in love. Without love, I never would have been a mother. Without love, I never would … Continue reading Without love
I can't kiss you or hug you. I can't rock you to sleep. I don't hear your sweet voice and won't watch you grow. You don't feel pain or sadness. You sleep atop the clouds. You fly beside the angels and live inside a dream. I cry. I cry and I wait. I wait for … Continue reading You & I
Parenting Angels 