Life is a series of battles. Some are worth fighting and some we just have to concede. There are some rules meant to be broken and lines meant to be crossed. By standing firm in our convictions and breaking through boundaries, we grow, we progress, we improve. But in the greatest of fights, there often … Continue reading When all the fight is gone
Grief would not exist without love. For any of us to find a reason for our suffering, a purpose to surviving, a meaning to this life that so often seems to destroy us, we must realize there is hope in love. Without love, I never would have been a mother. Without love, I never would … Continue reading Without love
I can't kiss you or hug you. I can't rock you to sleep. I don't hear your sweet voice and won't watch you grow. You don't feel pain or sadness. You sleep atop the clouds. You fly beside the angels and live inside a dream. I cry. I cry and I wait. I wait for … Continue reading You & I
I have been selfish. In the last week, I have been so concentrated on controlling my temper, trying not to cry, distracting myself from the fact that the one year anniversary of losing my son is just days away, and replaying the last days I had with him. I have been coping. I stay quiet … Continue reading Small world
If I said aloud every thought that went through my head, I would be a very bad person. Today alone, I wanted to scream during almost every interaction I had with another human. I am angry and bitter, hurt and resentful. I tell myself not to judge others. It's not right and it's not fair. … Continue reading My inner monologue
I interrupt. It is a fault of mine and it has been pointed out to me. I do it when I am not understood. I speak out of turn and I interject thoughts before others are able to complete their own. I realize it is a quality that needs improvement and I realize it can … Continue reading Listen, breathe, respond
I woke up today with a heavy, aching sadness. It's a feeling I've learned to accept, and some days I can push through, see the positives, be thankful for my blessings. But today, all I felt was the absence of my son. And it hurts so, so much. I drove all the way to work, … Continue reading Taking a day
If you are reading this, I want you to write down five reasons you are awesome. I was thinking (while on my first "training" run for a 5k I am going to try to complete in a month) how we as women, mothers, wives, and partners, so often depend on the reassurance of others for … Continue reading Five reasons I’m awesome
Maybe I have a skewed view of how life really was now that it's been almost a year since I lost my son, but I know our three years, though precious and amazing, we're not easy. We had long hospital stays, g-tube feeds, medications, countless appointments, therapies, specialists, emergencies, messes, and very little sleep. But … Continue reading Practicing patience
I received some interesting advice recently. Now, as someone who has a very loving, caring, endearing, but sometimes invasive collection of people surrounding her, advice comes frequent and often uninvited. However, this piece of advice was somewhat sought. A friend invited me to join her at a church fundraiser where a group of individuals offered … Continue reading Setting boundaries
Parenting Angels 